A story on Ammar

It’s a story about my second child. Ammar Bin Zahidi. When I know that I’m pregnant for the second time, I really hope that the tiny little thing in my tummy is a baby boy. I pray and pray very hard and in my doa’ I never fail to remember to ask Allah that I really want a baby boy. There also one particular doa’ that my husband recite every time and every day on the early stage on my pregnancy while his hand smoothly stroke my tummy. From that moment Me and my husband assured that we will get our own hero. As time goes by I went to Klinik Alam Damai for my regular checkup. The lady doctor asks whether we want to know the gender of our second child and we said yes. She proudly said that it is a baby boy. Its was his fourth month in my belly. There is one little thing that I still remember that the doctor said during the ultrasound scanning “Macam tengah bersujud la baby tu. Pukul brape la dia sembahyang nie?” At that particular moment the time is about 9.00p.m. Maybe he is performing solat Isyak :) It is much easier carrying him rather to her big sister. My morning sickness also not that bad. I did not crave anything except I want to eat lots and lots of durian. Other than that I’m fine.

Its nearly 9 months. I must get him out of my tummy because I badly want to see his precious face. On 5th of August 2009 my Ammar was born weighing 3.3kg. There he is lying beside me sucking for milk. He is the cutest thing I ever see. A Beautiful one. Love him!

I stayed at the hospital for two nights and on the third day I was release to go home. Sadly Ammar its not with me. He must stay longer because he had jaundice. On his fifth day, he was at home with me. Sleeps besides me, sucking milk and sometimes cries for attention. Best moment ever. On his sixth day, his body getting warm. Then the warmness becomes hot. He had a high fever. We checked using the thermometer and the number shows 40ºC! That’s a very high temperature for a baby 5 days old. My husband with my two little sisters sends Ammar to hospital. My heart aching. Tears went down my face. Can’t bear to separate with him. At the hospital my husband said that Ammar will go through a surgery to get some whatever water in his backbone. I practically cried out loud when I heard that. I’m not with him due to my c-section surgery. On my bed I scribbled something in my notes while my tears running down heavily. The notes said “ Hari Rabu 5/8/2009 adalah hari keramat bagiku. Aku telah melahirkan seorang anak lelaki yang amat comel. Walaupun aku menanggung kesakitan akibat pembedahan untuk melahirkannya namun aku puas kerana aku memilikinya. Apakan daya ku harap panas hingga ke petang tapi hujan di tengahari. Anakku menghidap penyakit kurangnya enzim darah merah. Aku terkejut dengan berita ini. Aku menangis dan menangis. Dalam masa yg sama aku juga merindui anak sulungku Humaira yg berada di rumah. Selama 2 malam aku berada di hospital, akhirnya dapat aku pulang kerumah. Akan tetapi ada sedikit jahitan yang perlu dibuat lagi diperutku. Kerana terdapat sedikit bukaan di tempat pembedahan ku itu. Tapi sayang anak ku tidak dapat pulang bersama ku kerana dia dijangkiti demam kuning. Lagi sekali aku sedih kerana aku tidak dpt bersama dengan anakku untuk pulang ke rumah opah dan toknya yang amat menantikan kepulangan satu-satunya cucu lelaki mereka. Aku redha. Pada 8/8/2009 Sabtu anak ku sudah boleh dibawa pulang memandangkan demam kuningnya sudah surut. Aku gembira apabila mama ku meletakkan anak lelaki ku itu didakapan ku. Aku gembira sekali! Sayangnya aku terhadap anak ku itu terlalu dalam.

Semalaman aku tidur bertiga beranak. Suami ku, aku dan anak lelaki ku. Aku gembira. Akan tetapi pada 9/8/2009 Ahad, anakku diserang demam panas. Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku banyak dosa ku ini. Anakku telah dibawa ke hospital oleh suami ku. Ya Allah demi suami dan baba ku Engkau peliharalah anak ku ini. TOLONGLAH, TOLONGLAH Ya Allah. Tiada tempat ku memohon selain dari Mu. Aku tidak tahu apakah penghujungnya cerita ku ini…” That is what I scribbled down in my tiny note book.

At this moment, Ammar is very well in a healthy condition. Syukur ya Allah.

To Ammar… You are the third man that I love the most after your atok and ayah. I want you to be a hafiz one day. If there a contest on the cutest baby, for me you will and always be the winner. Don’t make me worried. Make me proud. Yes! You are my Kesayangan Hamba. To me u always my ‘dak tita mama’ and ‘denunai mak sue’. Your sister’s story, I will compose soon. Love u sayang...